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ZNF regular Chucky shares some satircally exclusive details regarding rumors that Apple has pitched the cable industry

In a stunning anouncement, Apple has reached a deal this morning with almost all US major MSO’s to offer cable service via the magical new Apple TV Pro.

All cable billing for the Apple TV Pro will take place through iTunes Billing, with Apple taking their god-given 30% tax off the top, and an ‘Expanded Basic’ sub priced at $220/month, and HBO at $80/month for consumers.

Eddy Cue of Apple was quoted as saying, “We decided to way to get the MSO’s to get past their iTunes billing objections was to stuff their mouths with gold”.

Brian Roberts, CEO of Comcast, was quoted as saying, “That Tim Cook really understands supply chains. This is a great deal for…” Roberts attempted to continue his statement, but collapsed in uncontrollable laughter.

The magical Apple TV Pro will feature live cable TV, AirPlay, and Siri, but no DVR. Tim Cook was quoted as saying, “We think we have the cash to run saturation Sam Jackson and Zooey Deschanel ads to get folks beyond their irrational attachment to the DVR.”

developing… Continue Reading…

Initial impressions of the iHome iW1 by Adam Miarka.

Background and Initial Impressions

My new iHome iW1 AirPlay speaker system has arrived. And it’s probably one of the more anticipated AirPlay speakers to hit the market due to its portability. In fact, demand was so strong, the device was sold out within a half hour of going live on iHome’s site when it debuted August 31st. iHome took to Twitter and Facebook to calm those who didn’t get in on the initial launch, indicating a broader iW1 release on September 26th. Fortunately, I was one of the lucky ones.

As for an unboxing, the iW1 consists of the speaker, AC adapter, charging “dock”, remote control, and a set of instruction manuals. Upon first picking up the speaker, there is definitely some heft to the device – it doesn’t feel cheaply made at all and features a nice clean design. The instruction manuals are straight forward and easy to follow.

Click to enlarge:

Charging / Power

After I removed everything from the box, it was time to charge it. iHome has taken a unique approach to charging the iW1. Instead of having a plug and unplug the device, you simply remove it from the charging dock. Around the back of the speaker is a hidden handle to allow you to move the speaker easily from the dock.

Also around the back is a battery indicator button on the back which lights up the top panel of the device and shows the amount of battery left. Lastly, there is a power switch which can toggle the speaker’s power on and off. Continue Reading…

Transformers: Dark of the Moon. It’s either a giant robot movie or the next Twilight film. Now we’ve got a full-length trailer that answers that question.

Shia LaBeouf is back to periodically interrupt all the anthropomorphic car action with nervous stammering and John Turturro is back to finish the job of burying all the good memories we had of him in Coen Brothers films from the 90s. Megan Fox is not back. I’m sure we’ll all miss… whatever it is she did in the first two movies. All I recall is that she arched her back in front of a car one time.

So what do we have in this new trailer? Transformers. On the moon. Except when they’re in DC blowing up monuments. We also get music that sounds suspiciously like a mashup of the film scores from various Christopher Nolan movies.

What we don’t get in this trailer is cutesy Shia LeBeouf quips. Maybe he won’t talk much in this one? Maybe we’ll get less boring human stuff and more repetitive Optimus Prime robot punching?

That’s the genius of Michael Bay. He answered one question only to leave us with more. See it July 1.

I was a history minor in college which means a bunch of people unfairly expect me to know something about history.

But I don’t actually know much history and Immortals isn’t burdened with those expectations. Combined, these facts allow me to accept a version of Ancient Greek events that includes a flaming whip attacking a male Statue of Liberty and bad guys with crab helmets. It seems likely director Tarsem Singh and I both only completed our history minors because we had a bunch of AP credits from high school.

You might know Singh as the director of The Fall and The Cell. The Fall has been in my Netflix queue for awhile now and The Cell had Jennifer Lopez. It’s inexplicable I haven’t seen either yet.

Immortals comes out November 11th of this year and stars Henry Cavill (the guy cast as Superman in Zack Snyder‘s Man of Steel) and Mickey Rourke (the guy who looks like he got punched in the face a lot by Superman).

Caution… potential movie spoilers ahead.

Many characters in film and television have wrestled with the question, “Does she really love me for me?” But only a select few, including Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) and that guy from Quantum Leap, have had to answer it in another dude’s body.

Source Code, Duncan Jones‘ sophomore directorial effort, after debuting with the vastly superior Moon in 2009, is the kind of movie where you can sort of accept the things that are happening on screen until people start trying to explain them. Our hero, Captain Stevens, wakes up on a train and spends the rest of the movie exploding for a good cause.

Stevens is part of an experiment that transports him back to the last eight minutes of one passenger’s life on a Chicago commuter train to figure out who placed the bomb that wiped out everyone on board. Nothing Stevens does can affect the outcome in his own timeline, so he’s strictly gathering information to thwart a possible future attack. Every time his host body dies, Stevens is forced back on the train to try again. Think Groundhog Day meets Seven Days. Continue Reading…